Well, I'm progressing through all the stages that would be expected. I'm now on to the annoyed and anger phase. My mom told me today that when I get angry, I get the most work done. Funny but true.
I'm mad that this tumor might eat my bone and cause a hole. If I get a hole in my bone, it could shatter. With all of the surgery I've had, if I had another surgery to fix the hole, it would be hard to repair and probably increase the tumor's size. Hot damn. That's just fun to think about.
They want to switch me to go on Tamofixin which is an anti-estrogen drug. It would put me into menopause. If it did work then I might not be able to ever carry a child in me. So double good news. Both those ideas make me cry and want to hide from the world.
To force myself to be productive, I went into work a hot mess. I figured it was the best way to get out of my funk. People around me with no clue about the dangers of tumors worrying about working for the man. It's comforting to think I might be back in that world again.
So I took my anger, bottled it up, called to get all my medical records. Called the Sloan-Kettering Center and emailed the Anderson Cancer Center. Bring out the big guns. I already hit my out of pocket max for the year, so all appointments are free. I guess that's good. Other good news, my evil port is coming out. I can go on roller coasters and I got toasted last night. The bad news is that I can't see the finish line anymore through my tears and confusion.
I reached out to a couple people on facebook last night. I want to talk to other people and get myself a good support group. This disease sucks.
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