Longest Day

So yesterday was my first day to get chemo thru my port. I really didn't know how it was going to look once they took off the bandage but (as you can see from the picture) all that was exposed was a tiny scar. The port is actually under the incision. My friend and I got to the hospital at 9am yesterday and didn't leave until 5pm. Longest day ever. You have to be very sterile when you access the port so it doesn't get infected. So round #1 they accessed the port but no blood came back. No blood return means no chemo. So she thought the needle didn't hit the back of the port so they tried a longer needle. So round #2 they had a longer needle but still didn't get any blood. I'll have you know they give you cream to numb the area but by round #2 started the cream wore off and I felt the needle. With round #2 we still didn't get any blood. So they called the specialists in but it took them over 2 hours to get there. Then she yanked out the needle. I guess it got stuck in my port which hurt oh so badly. I thought she was going to yank it out of my chest. Then they wanted to access it a third time. So back on the cream went for 30 minutes and the port was accessed again. Still, no blood return. So they put in something to break-up clots and sent me for an X-Ray. I was pissed off and on the verge of tears. You can't just go crying every time things don't go right. The X-Ray came back and everything looked just fine. By then the medicine they gave me was working and **voila** my blood clot was gone and they got blood return.

I hate going to the hospital. I hate chemo. I hate being poked. I just want this to be over.

The good news is that the new anti-nausea medicine is working better. I took it the night before, the morning of and then when I left. I had one bout of bad cramps and bad digestive problems but it seems to have passed. I'm grateful that I can eat and not feel sick. Last time the other medicine didn't do anything and I couldn't eat for 48 hours.

Maybe I'll write more later about my emotional state. I wanted to keep these short but what can I say? I love to talk.