Pictures of Desmoid Tumor

I will admit I've been meaning to post these pictures my (what I'm hoping is dead) desmoid tumor. It's really hard to grasp that there's something growing in you that shouldn't be there. I've been looking at pictures of my arm for almost 4 years now so to me, I know exactly what I'm looking at. Hopefully I'll be a good guide. 

Picture #1 is of my left arm. Imagine you are standing on a ladder above a person and staring down at them. Ok, now look at their shoulder. You can see the arm is straight down at their side. This picture would be as-if I am facing you looking at the front of your body. The giant "bright" mass on the image below is my tumor (which as I said is hopefully DEAD). The white circle behind it, is the bone for my arm. Everything to the left is my chest tissue and other normal tissue. I had to dig quite a bit to find this picture so this is inside me about 3 years ago. This is an MRI picture from when they injected me with dye. The tumor absorbs the dye and lights up. So what I am hoping to see on my next MRI in January is for the bright area to go gray. When it goes gray or dark, they consider the area dead.

 

Ok, here is picture #2. I think this one is a little easier to see. Again you are standing, looking at me but this time, no ladder. You are just standing facing me, looking at my arm. All the bright area is where Mr Nasty Tumor decided to invade. Gross, huh? If you look carefully, you can see the white part looks milky and isn't really well defined. That is the area(s) that were growing. Since this was an old picture, it looks like it isn't really in my back. Pictures from this past year showed it grew even more. I can't post those because its harder to see what the tumor and what is from radiation.

Today is a good day to look back at all of these pictures. This is a week with NO TREATMENTS!! It's been since Thanksgiving that I've had a week off. I feel fantastic and am ready to see family and enjoy the time off. Every day that I feel great is really a blessing. It makes me remember what life is really about. It's not about the 9-5 (ha), more like 8-6 job that consumes you but about enjoying yourself, enjoying your friends/family and just living for the small things.

I myself get too consumed with perfection. I STILL get consumed with perfection. I want one perfect night or one perfect bill of health. Perfection isn't something that can be achieved. Living for now and enjoying what you have is perfect with imperfections. At least feeling good is one step in the right direction. Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!