I'm a Rebel

There are things I know after a year of treatment. I know that I should sleep a lot on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I should not clean, cook or leave the house. I know there are things I shouldn't eat.

I'm a rebel. I know the rules but I like to push the boundaries. I did it when I first started treatment with work. If I felt OK on a Thursday, I would log in and check emails. Then I was attending meetings on Thursdays. Finally I pushed back a chemo treatment by a half a day, so I could attend a meeting. I finally got so exhausted with pushing myself, that I had to take a leave from work. It was not what I wanted but I rested and put my health first.

You would think that I would just rest. I mean, I've been doing this for what seems like an eternity. Maybe since it's been so long, I've just decided that I'm tired of being sick. When I feel good, I want to embrace it. Who knows? Even this week, I was a rebel. I felt peachy yesterday (which was probably the $45 a pill medicine). So I went out with the husband on an errand. I asked to go along. Seriously, I get sick of sitting in the house alone.

Needless to say, today I am paying for it. I slept for almost 12 hours. My head still hurts. I woke up nauseous. I think if I had stayed still and rested yesterday that today would be better. It's my own damn fault. Only 15 more days until I'm free. 12 more days until my last treatment.