Sleeplessness

I hate this. I'm so tired but I can sleep. I can't stop thinking long enough to doze off for longer than a few hours. I'm calm and panicked.

I had the worst week if my life. Almost thirty and I'm fairly certain no other week in my whole lifetime will be as horrible. Pretty certain but you never know what is ahead.

I'm lucky. You see despite all if the madness in my life, I have perfect awesome friends. They come over with food, laughter and sincerity. They support us through thick and thin. They are my second family. I'd be lost without them. They listen, ask, distract and come without pretenses. They are the reason I'm able to find some smiles and laughter

If you personally know me, I'm sorry I'm a wreck. I just don't know what to do with myself. Half the time I look at myself in the mirror and decide to be strong and brave. The rest of time I hide, pity myself and cry. I can do this. I am strong enough. I'm tough and tenacious. I just need time to process everything. Crying is ok, but then tu have to just move on. I think this time the moving on part is going to take some time.