Today's Reflection

Oh goodness. I'm sitting back at the Children's Hospital today. I thought about canceling my appointment because I just don't want to come to this place any more. Unfortunately, that is not how life goes. I'm here waiting to see if the bone that the tumor munched on is getting any better. Hopefully the bone will show strong signs of re-growth. Occasionally, on days like today, I get moments where I reflect on my chemo-year. Thanksgiving was the first week last year that I had off. It was a beautiful week where I gorged myself. The couple weeks after Thanksgiving were great with the bi-weekly treatments of methotrexate and vinblastine being less toxic and more tolerable. This Thanksgiving we traveled to my sister's and it was great. The only reminder of last year was when someone passed me the sweet potato casserole. I occasionally think my arm is stronger than it really is. I think that I'm just like everyone else. The casserole was passed, and I tried to pass it along but it was too heavy. I almost dropped it all over the table. It was a horrible, mortifying moment. My mind is stronger than my body and that is a good thing on most days. These days I feel good. My energy is finally back up. My arm only hurts when I try to stretch it too much or poke it. It's very sensitive to touch and I'm trying not to worry myself over that. It's probably nothing but the broken bone being angry. It doesn't get hot too much which also makes me feel good. I do still worry but I try to enjoy life as-is. There's nothing I can do now but wait until my next MRI. It's lurking there but I'm living in the meantime. It's good to be feeling normal.